SmarteePants

Back?

2010-03-11T00:43:00.001-06:00

Can't sleep. Debating my involvement in the blogosphere.

2008-07-18T14:02:00.002-05:00

Cuties- the pup i am dogsitting.

I'm voting republican...

2008-07-09T00:35:00.001-05:00

Greetings from a long lost friend

2008-07-08T08:39:00.005-05:00

3 and 1/2 months does fly by quickly. Can it be that long since I posted a blog? Indeed it has been. Thanks for the nudge, Doc. The past few months have included a few highlights: seeing Obama AND Hillary speak in Grand Forks at the ND Dem Convention, snow out and sunshine in, the archaeological discovery that there are in fact lesbians in Fargo- many of them, news of a big work move, lots of local and Cities Pride, T's visit, Michelle and Megan's visit, my parents less than thrilling visit, flowers flowers everywhere (along with an abundance of weeds and my lack of a green thumb), a new grill with adventures in figuring out how to light it while keeping eyebrows in tact (shutup peanut gallery), BFF birthday bash, Em's departure to the Middle East, rooftop goodness, the in vitro blessing of 2 very deserving mommies-to-be, long bike rides, seeing/hearing Obama again on his return trip to Fargo just miles from my house, a lovely new girl, and a yet to be finished dissertation (though I have EVERYONE I know riding my ass. So please. I get it. I am working.)

I think trials and tribulations of the big D just might take up some cyberspace as I bitch,vent, and brag (hopefully) while working towards completion. I sense the sweet smell of victory, but I'm not there yet.

A sad day at NDSU

2008-03-31T22:25:00.002-05:00

Nope, no climate problems here. Racism, sexism all mixed up with homophobia... Funny, right? I mean, who can't laugh at little blackface white kid getting a lap dance while a couple of boys simulate gay cowboy sex Brokeback Mountain style? Clearly we can all see the humor there. So funny that we were in the top 10 popular stories on CNN, as well as coverage on ABC, FOX, the Boston Herald, and countless local news media outlets around the country. A proud moment for sure.

5 years??

2008-03-20T00:32:00.003-05:00

Weapons of mass destruction- where??
Capture Saddam Hussein- done.
Freeing the Iraqi people- does that include killing hundreds of thousands of civilians, including children?
So what is the deal 5 years after invading Iraq? Which news do we believe? You can believe this story- and trust that my own puppy for peace and I ventured out in the chilly weather on this anniversary.

It's St Patty's Day and I wore blue.

2008-03-17T21:25:00.002-05:00

The parade was Saturday and I wore green then. My dog is smart and knows his right from his left. I am sore from Sunday yoga and Monday spin class, which will likely continue with Wednesday spin class. I am so tired but have too much work for sleep. Did that sentence even make sense? Why does this town have such a serious shortage of lesbians? Seriously. I had a rather bizarre weekend of events. I apparently don't know how to spell bizarre, thank goodness for spellcheck. I apparently can't spell spellcheck either. Did I mention how tired I am? My parents want to come visit. My parents want to come visit? My mother who wanted me to drop out of grad school and opt for fix-the-gays-camp is coming to visit? Really? This is a short week, and it's almost Tuesday, so only 3 more days till the weekend. At which time I will continue dissertating. I think I am grinding my teeth at night. I think I have too much going on in my head.

P.S. I love Juno.

Rep Sally Kerns gives me nightmares.

2008-03-11T01:07:00.003-05:00

Disgusting. Listen to what Oklahoma legislator Sally Kerns had to say when she thought no one was listening. This has made its way onto many-a-blog, and I hope it continues to circulate. Feel free to give ole Sally a call at 405-557-7348 or email her at sallykern@okhouse.gov and let her know what you think of her words. Check out the Victory Fund who works to support openly GLBT polical candidates. Because the gays are taking over. And they want your 2 year olds.

Warm. Cool.

2008-03-10T18:39:00.002-05:00

While there was a certain chill when I got to receive more less than thrilling news about my job today... the weather outside hit above freezing. 35 degrees out- awww yeah. A heat wave!

Thoughts bouncing in my head

2008-03-09T14:33:00.002-05:00

Is there such thing as too much coffee? My fingertips are cold. This is the 3rd day in a row I am wearing pj's past noon. Reading gender and queer theory doesn't feel like work. I should take a shower today. Why hasn't the snow plow fairy come and taken care of my blasted driveway? My least favorite parts of home ownership- repairs and shoveling. Should I shower before or after I shovel? Tough decisions. I need to take the recycling. I should go to the gym. I am against stretchy pants. I tend to lay low, but drama ensues around me... people are silly, really. Should I subscribe to Bust or Bitch magazine? I should do my taxes sooner than later? Do I bother to buy a program or use a free one? Am I going to do this correctly?! Oie. That 1-1-1-1-1 pancake recipe isn't half bad. I didn't get nearly as much stuff done last week as I needed to to. My dissertation gives my anxiety. I think I might make my yummy tomato soup. I love all my online applications, but it is scary how big brother can really be watching EVERYTHING. Good thing I am not affiliated with the mafia. I am excited for Women's Week, I just wish there was more time in the day to get everything done and have a good time. I am not happy about loosing an hour last night, though more daylight will be nice. Aw fuck it. I'm paying to have the driveway plowed. Does that make me lazy? It is 14 degrees out. It's nice to live alone, but sometimes it's not. Hmmm...

2008-03-09T14:25:00.001-05:00

You Are Chardonnay

Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality.

You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex.

You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular.

Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!).

Deep down you are: Dependable and modest

Your partying style: Understated and polite

Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat

What Kind of Wine Are You?

It's International Women's Day!

2008-03-08T13:02:00.002-06:00

Celebrate women globally today- it's I nternational Women's Day !

Bitches get stuff done!

2008-03-06T00:26:00.000-06:00

Gawd. I love Tina Fey. She actually used the F word!

Another winter's day

2008-02-20T21:36:00.003-06:00

Current activity: enjoying red wine and dark chocolate
Activity earlier this evening: 29 miles at spin class
Current thought: everyone needs balance
Current music: Jack Johnson
Current weather: -13
Current happenings: a lunar eclipse
Boone current activity: eating the lint roller
Boone current thought: deal with the dog hair, bitch
Favorite activity of the day: throwing boiling water into the air at 7am and watching it freeze midair (fun in the midwest people! Even better- friends across town at the same time doing the same thing, only they were smart enough to take pics!)
Most productive activity of the day: continued work on the big D
Favorite daydream: *sigh*

Sunny...

2008-02-20T09:00:00.001-06:00

Burrrrrr ! its a cold one ! Thanks to A for the pic reminding me of the joys encountered first thing in the morning.

Flip flops and burmuda shorts

2008-02-20T00:44:00.003-06:00

Something is very wrong. I was ecstatic on Saturday when I thought it was warm out because the temperature hit 30 degrees. Boone and I could go on a comfortable walk, which we happily did. Somehow I have acclimated the point I believe 30 degrees is a mild temp. I suppose when compared to the current temp which is -23 (actual) and feels like -46, a 76 degree increase is rather toasty. If you look at a weather map of the country right this moment, I am clearly in the very coldest place. Someone. Please. Remind me. Again. WTF was I thinking moving to the tundra?????

What really makes my heart happy-Texas Women get OFF!!!

2008-02-14T17:27:00.003-06:00

I am very happy to report that should the Lib ever return to the Lonestar state- she will no longer be subject to felony charges. Well, at least not for intent to distribute sex toys. The Texas sex toy ban has been overturned! Women of the republic, stock up on your AA's. Parade in through the streets proudly with your silicone! Finally- not only can we purchase and shoot guns... we can fuck now too! For more on this breaking news visit Feministing or Fox News (just because it is fun to see them report this ). Big props to Feministing for the link to Molly Irvine's video. You just HAVE to love her!

Other thoughts of the day... I'm thrilled to be boycotting the consumer-driven chaos of February 14th with some wine drinking and potlucking friends followed by a performance of the Vagina Monologues. Chocolate and roses my ass.

Advice

2008-02-12T22:01:00.002-06:00

If you want to keep all your extremities do NOT, I repeat, do NOT lock yourself out of your house in the dead of winter. Especially when you live in Fargo. Take these words seriously. You will thank me some day.

Pissy. Strange. Life.

2008-02-07T22:11:00.000-06:00

Today is that day. The one that really bites (here is me trying not to use profanity). My professional obligations kept me out hours later than anticipated, only to cause me to be further behind on OTHER professional obligations/deadlines. So that's fun. Even funner- a house that is 48 degrees inside and a furnace that won't turn on. Even double the fun- having the plumbers out last week for the 2nd time in 2 months and a ton of sewer in the basement. Even MORE fun- a broken car and no one for 300 miles that will fix it (literally). The MOST fun- the thousands of dollars, which I don't have, to pay for all this shit. Ok, profanity rule officially broken. This fuckin sucks. At least the on-call heating guy is super cute. Too bad he's not quite my type. Fun fuckin times.

In other notsodamndismal news... I was interviewed for a story in the local paper today. How random is that. Reporter called me at work to talk to me about couples. As if working on a PhD has taught me something- who knew! We did a whole little interview and then he asks for a head shot. A WHAT? So the readers know who they are getting their advice from, he says. Oh the fame.

If I can manage to wade through all my work I am REALLY looking forward to this weekend. Who wouldn't love a tacky prom party? I am busting out the old bridesmaids dress and doing it up 80's style. Smokin hot! Before that- women's basketball. And beer. There will be beer. After the events of this week, beer is necessary. Not optional. Silver lining- gosh, I can't drive my car. Guess I won't be the DD!

Everyday Heros

2008-01-31T23:21:00.000-06:00

Things you learn when it is -23 degrees out...

2008-01-30T09:48:00.000-06:00

Little shoes aren't just for mini horses- dogs need moon boots.
Start your car, like, yesterday if you want it to 1. start 2. move
Warm head trumps good hair. Wear a hat.
Work at home for as long as you possibly can. Simply avoid the outdoors.
Lack of long underwear does NOT make you a gladiator. WEAR IT.
Cans or bottles of anything should not be left in the car, unless you want to be licking beer off the ceiling come spring.
Everyone you know everywhere else in the country is aware of how f-n cold it is and sends condolences. (i.e."hey, we haven't spoken in in a year... sure is cold where yer at! Better keep warm") Uh- thanks for the advice!
Body parts can and will freeze off. Not that any of mine have. But in this damn weather you don't questions these things!
Layers layers layers.
Moving to Fargo was a dumb idea.

2008-01-24T00:42:00.000-06:00

While I might be a day late and a dollar short... It is worth mentioning that the anniversary of Roe v. Wade was Monday (1/22). Let's not forget the questionable state of the law and womens' (in)ability to make choices for their own lives and bodies.

In other news, well, maybe not so much news but a self-involved update on the life of me... dissertation data is collected! My productive venture to the Lonestar state proved to be worthwhile. I survived driving a PT Cruiser for 5 days, won Cranium (ah-hem beat the cheater and got to shake Shawna all about), watched a little L Word in good company, ate well, contemplated a new tattoo, and in between the interviewing madness caught up with some colleagues and friends. Twas a busy and fantastic trip. I think I even won over the chihuahua. Yet not once did I set foot into a certain lesbian establishment. Someone give me a halo.

Candidate Match-making

2008-01-12T13:46:00.000-06:00

Still not sure which presidential candidate shares your views? Check out the Match-O-Matic

Since you are dying to know how I scored... here ya go.
1. Joseph Biden (this guy dropped out)
2. Mike Gravel (he's been a NYC cab driver and a special agent!)
3. Dennis Kucinich (simply put, this guy should be the prez, but it's not going to happen. He actually cares about PEOPLE... What a crazy notion for the leader of the free world)

Yeah. Maybe I should move to Canada. Its only a few hours away...

Happy 2008

2008-01-12T13:13:00.000-06:00

So it has been a while... With the holidays safely navigated I am back to the head-slamming days of office politics and extra thick socks. My trip home was unusually uneventful... no crazy family crap this year. Just lots of fun running around with 2 year olds who think I am the best invention ever. Who wouldn't love that? Have to enjoy being super aunt to 2 new babies who are so cute and sweet, and when they aren't I get to hand them back. Then there was pirate fun on a sunset schooner cruise with my girls in St. Augustine before hopping a plane to the lonestar state. Houston was a good as to be expected... and MORE! The lovely lib recently blogged about missing her lesbian cartel, and I have to say I share her sentiments. Glad I got to have my fix. D$ and her obsession with air streams gives my life meaning. The B&T Inn was a full service establishment with ironing and vehicles included. And then there is Chances. What can I even say about Chances? It just is. NYE. Ah, NYE. There is a reason I don't drink liquor. And any photographic evidence demonstrating why should NOT be posted online. NEVER. EVER.

Last nights festivities at mi casa were quite fun. Good food. Good wine. Excellent people.

It's 15 with flurries today... with a HIGH of -5 expected in a few days. If only Boone was a better cuddler.

Fargo news

2007-12-04T22:47:00.000-06:00

So I'm watching the news tonight and they have a story about all the record-breaking @#*$% snow we have gotten in the past 2 days. (this was immediately after I had been out shoveling for over an hour and still didn't finish). Anyway, so they were interviewing this guy who drives a snow plow about clearing the Fargo streets and then he says he is just out there to "Git er done". And no one seemed phased.

Yeeeah.

2007-12-03T00:57:00.001-06:00

While I hate Barbie for the unrealistic messages she sends young girls, I have to appreciate her willingness to clean up dog shit.

You better git to...

2007-11-29T23:27:00.000-06:00

Amy Sedaris and a monkey.
Dolly and a riding crop.
Lib... Newhouse... this one is for you!

TDOR

2007-11-22T12:14:00.000-06:00

Tuesday was a long day so posting didn't happen... but here is to our friends who live outside the gender binary.

Each year, remember November 20- Transgender Day of Remembrance

Jackson Katz

2007-11-19T00:03:00.000-06:00

I have shown his video in classes I have taught. Tough Guise: The Crisis in Masculinity is an incredible film, created by a man, who holds cultural definitions of "how to be a man" accountable for the violence committed against women as well as other men. He talks about how feminists have been saying the same things for decades, yet because a man speaks, it is heard differently. Moreover, it is heard. I had the privilege of hearing Jackson Katz speak in Grand Forks last week-- his talk focused primarily on masculinity and violence against women. Following the talk, he and I spoke a bit about the Virginia Tech shootings. He holds a perspective that blows the media's hyped up accusations of a "school system that failed" or "slipping through the cracks of mental health".

Help

2007-11-01T00:23:00.000-05:00

All hell is breaking loose. I need a new job. In a new land.

demali is my hero

2007-10-23T00:12:00.000-05:00

North Dakota makes me sick. Seriously. Since returning I went from perfectly healthy to queen of ill. CA was fab- lots of conferencing, lots of alcohol, lots of Amber.

Last weekend rocked my feminist self. Martinis with demali ayo after hearing her killer talk about the ridiculous nature of white people's seemingly innocuous yet degrading actions and words spoken in our racist culture. Have you heard of How-to-Rent-a-Negro? She wrote it. Amazing. Two thrilling conversations with Jennifer Baumgardner over the course of a few days (and my gushing to her about how fabulous she is and how my friends and I all read Manifesta when I was at Tech). Hearing her speak twice was motivating as hell. I truly attempt to integrate my feminist values into my daily life, but damn, my wheels have been turning the past few days. All this excitement topped off with a drag show Saturday night. Yes. Drag. In Fargo. Who knew. Granted, the dyke community still has some seriously slim pickins, it was good to be out and out. And in excellent company. Sunday spent in pj's nursing the persistent nasal drama.

Today has been an ongoing dosage of cold meds and battles of the professional type. I'm purchasing stock in tissues and plotting how I plan to take over the world. Well, maybe just leave my mark in this town. And I will. I promise.

Happy National Coming Out Day!

2007-10-12T01:45:00.001-05:00

Happy National Coming Out Day!

Going back to Cali, back to Cali...

2007-10-09T12:12:00.000-05:00

I love my 'It's a beaver mug'. It reminds me of Lisa on the green chair, occasional trips to Austin, and my good pals in the Lonestar state. Today I need to drink my coffee out of my beaver mug. Nothing else would have done.

It's frantic rusharoundbecauseyouneverplanwell time again. Plane to the city of angels leaves tomorrow afternoon and I'm not packed. Top priority- meet a big D deadline BEFORE I board. I have to do it.

Thursday happens to be National Coming Out Day. I can't stand the HRC and their bullshit. But, this video is pretty good for raising awareness about NCOD. I'll be celebrating in LA with one pervy girl, and I can't wait. Although she thinks I should wear something "hip and cute". Um, yeah. About that. After a few months in the MidWest, in a town where the only gay bar for miles recently closed, I have been completely deprived of my people. So soon, very soon, I will get my gay on.

2007-10-07T11:42:00.001-05:00

Boone in all his glory.

STC

2007-10-06T22:36:00.000-05:00

Three words have changed my life.
Synchronized Tractor Corps.
No seriously. This is an actual, um, sport (?) at my school. It's homecoming weekend so I decided to catch the parade and maybe a bit of early morning drunk people watching (for the students who started drinking before 8am for the 1pm game). So there I sit with my grown up friend and my 4 year-old-friend watching the drunk kids throw candy from homemade floats and then they appear. The tractors. With there little signs. Synchronized Tractor Corps. And I knew I would never the be the same.

Today also reminded me just how old I am getting. I want to say that the students just keep getting younger, but I think I might be fooling myself. Please. Don't confirm this. I want to fool myself for as long as possible. With age comes self respect and a little thing I call dignity. I have to say I was appalled at some of the t shirts the ever-so-classy frat boys were sporting. The worst included "Homecoming: I'm like a fat girl at the prom... I'm just happy to be here". I think this might have been one of the most offensive things I have ever seen. It lands at least in my top 3. I was at a sports bar with a few of my super cool new posse because tickets to the game sold out, when we spotted at least 4 or 5 guys proudly wearing their filth. 2 women from my new crew, who also happen to be H.O.T. approached 2 and pretended to bum smokes and then proceeded to tell said boys how lame they are and that they are never going to get laid with their lame shirts. Funny part- their friends started to make fun of them. Sad part- they probably are going to get laid by some unfortunate girl who thinks it's funny and won't be getting a call the next day.

Ouch.

2007-10-02T11:33:00.000-05:00

Thumping music. Loud. Lights flashing. Sweaty bodies. Muscles flexing. Bump, bump, bump goes the beat. It sounds like I grabbed my favorite boys from Queer as Folk and hit Babylon for a night of debauchery. A happening bar in Fargo? Try again. My spin class. I joined the gym at school, mind you I am like an old fogie running around in there. Perhaps the constant reminder of what 13+ years does to the body will be a motivator? We'll see. Back to class. Who in the fuck decided that doing push ups off handle bars while pedaling at full speed was a good idea?? I hate them, yet do believe they are brilliant. A new friend of mine teaches the class, so I thought why the hell not? I just didn't realize she leads a double life as a drill sergeant on wheels. Gawd I love her.

Ah-choo!

2007-09-29T00:32:00.000-05:00

Apparently I have moved to a place that is graced with the heavy presence of grain dust in the fall air. Yes, grain dust. It does a lovely job on the respiratory system. Grain dust creates a substance in my head like I have never known. I had never fucking heard of grain dust before last week when all the joy set into my sinus and nasal cavity. And the local news reports on wheat and sugar beet crops. More fun in the Midwest.

Ok, enough bitching. Things to smile about- actual work on dissertation this week, likely arrival of another mini person in my family (aunt x 4 tomorrow!), dinner party invites, success at dog class, 2 buck chuck, feminist lunches, Gray's is back, sunshine, Degrassi (shhh, don't tell), new friends, local produce, bangle spice tea, feeling like a grown up... sort of.

A little giggle haha

2007-09-29T00:17:00.000-05:00

Here's a little guilty pleasure I like to indulge in every so often. Dorothy really tickles my fancy! Especially this time!

Things I have learned..

2007-09-27T11:40:00.000-05:00

You pay for what you get, dog obedience classes included.

Being content and single is SO. MUCH. EASIER. Than being miserable and coupled.

Grind and brew coffee maker. Enough said.

Smiling attracts new friends.

Mowing the lawn, it’s not for the landlord anymore.

When things seem too good to be true, they usually are.

When a 4-year-old says grace and thanks God for you being able to eat lunch with her, you really do feel blessed.

Lesbians in Fargo are either 21 or LOAFs.

55 degrees and sunny is just about perfect. 3 years in Houston can help you forget that.

Dissertations don’t write themselves, no matter how hard you try.

Take Back the Night happens for a reason. Even Boone marched through the streets.

Cloth napkins can help save the earth.

No matter what is happening, the world keeps on going.

Feminism is not dead.

Old white guys are still in charge.

Virgin Post

2007-09-24T01:40:00.000-05:00

Technically I'm not a blogging virgin. I mean, I have been with with other blogs. But they didn't last and they weren't important. They didn't mean much. So they don't count, right? I like to consider myself a born again blogger. Fresh and pure-- virginal. Because this time it counts.